


Feel My Energy

by kwillow19



Category: Amar a Muerte (TV)
Genre: F/F, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-18 04:25:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18113252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwillow19/pseuds/kwillow19
Summary: “Do you trust me?”“Yes,” slips out of Juliana’s mouth so quickly and confidently it almost feels unreasonable. But, she does. She already trusts Valentina with her life. She has no clue how she arrived here so fast.“Ok. Close your eyes,” Val states.OrWhat if Valentina and Juliana weren’t interrupted the night of Guille’s birthday party?





	Feel My Energy

**Author's Note:**

> The Juliantina storyline is pretty damn hard to beat, so this is kind of canon-ish. It's just a play on a plot point that I thought would be fun to explore. Hope you enjoy!

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” slips out of Juliana’s mouth so quickly and confidently it almost feels unreasonable. But, she does. She already trusts Valentina with her life. She has no clue how she arrived here so fast. 

“Ok. Close your eyes,” Val states.

Juliana stares at her skeptically for a moment, and then acquiesces to her request. 

“Open your mouth and say ‘ahh.’”

She keeps her eyes obediently closed, but scrunches her brow in confusion. Val doubles down on the request making the “ahh” sound in hopes that Juliana will follow suit. She does, of course. She opens her mouth and tries to suppress a laugh at the ridiculousness of the exchange.

Then she feels the pill on her tongue and immediately opens her eyes in confusion.

“Done,” Valentina says, sounding very proud of herself. She extends her glass out to Juliana and asks if she needs water to swallow. The moment seems to go in slow motion as she stares expectantly. Juliana feels her pulse quicken as the anxiety of accepting the offering clouds her brain.

“May I know who let this party happen?”

Val’s sisters words cut through the silence of the empty hallway and allow Juliana to snap out of her trance. She seems to have lost her ability to do that on her own when Val’s gaze is so intensely locked to hers. There are many things Juliana would be thrilled to have Val put in her mouth, but unfortunately this is not one of them.

“Valentina, how could you allow it?” Eva questions her.

Juliana uses this distraction to discreetly rid her mouth of whatever drug Val just slipped her. She’s annoyed at her careless behavior. But, more than that, she’s now worried about her. She knew the older girl was acting strange, and now she knows exactly why. 

“Eva, look. This is Juliana,” she hears Valentina say, as she motions her way.

“No, no, no. Vale, listen to me.” 

Eva is not buying Val’s sudden change of subject. She takes her younger sister’s wrists in her hands to focus her attention. “Dad just died,” Eva continues. “What do you think people will say? What will they think? We can’t take one more scandal.”

And, then Val is spiraling. She’s overwhelmed. Between the drugs and her fragile mental state, she’s trying to shut everything out. Eva won’t allow her to just be. She’s pushing Val to listen, to take responsibility, to sober up. Juliana hears something about Val almost drowning in a pool and decides she can’t watch this happen.

“Hey, no. Hey, Eva!” she says extending her arm out between them. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of her. I promise she won’t drink anymore.”

“Are you sober?” Eva asks.

“Yes. I don’t drink,” she answers.

“All right. Take her.”

Juliana glances over at Val. She’s standing there with her hands over her ears and the most childlike expression of concern. Juliana motions for Val to join her, and she wraps her arm around Val’s waist as Val passes Eva with her tongue stuck out in defiance.

_God, she’d be annoying if she wasn’t so adorable._

Juliana leads Val back to the main party, but their time there is short lived as Silvina is already working to corral people out of the house. Val’s brain and legs are loopy and wandering, and Juliana feels a bit like a border collie herding her safely back towards her room.

~~~

When they get there, Val doesn’t stop. She immediately turns on her speakers proudly blasting the song that she promised Juliana she’d learn to dance to. Juliana finds herself smiling at the insistence of Val’s self imposed assignment. As far as drunks go, Val wasn’t the worst. She was at least happy and not violent and terrible like Chino.

“Where do you get so much energy from?” Juliana asks almost rhetorically as she drops herself down onto the bedroom window seat. She’s finally starting to feel the effects of a long night in heels chasing a beautiful, energetic friend.

“What do you mean?” Valentina questions back. “That pill I gave you. Didn’t it kick in?”

“Yes, it did. But I feel like it kinda… it got me a little dizzy?”

“Come here. I will make you dizzy,” Val says as she pulls Juliana to her feet. 

She spins her around with a light laugh and then next thing Juliana knows they’re close. Too close. Val’s draped Juliana’s arm across her shoulder and her nose nuzzles at her cheek. Val grabs Juliana’s hand and begins to sway to the music. A brief feeling flutters across Juliana. She wants so badly for this to be real. 

For the first time since they had met, Juliana allowed herself to indulge in Val’s attention — from her wide eyes at Juliana’s arrival to her constant reminders of how beautiful she looks tonight. Where she’d typically dismiss such open declarations, Juliana had finally started to allow herself to bask in what they could potentially mean. 

And, she knows Val doesn’t know what she’s doing right now. Val’s not purposely trying to hurt her. But her thin, meaningless advances towards Juliana now sting. 

She does her best to avoid eye contact or really even participate in dancing. Val doesn’t seem to notice, and that sucks even more. One of things Juliana loves most about her is how in tune Val usually is with her comfort and emotions. This is not Valentina in her arms.

“I have an idea,” she says playfully, as she pushes Juliana down to sit on the bed.

“Val…”

“It’s a game. It’s super cool,” Val continues. She’s so determined. She lifts Juliana’s hands up with her palms facing outward and mirrors her position. 

“You need to put your hands like this,” Val instructs. “You need to put them… Juls, hey. You’re not doing it right.” She grabs Juliana’s face flustered and then sits down on the bed facing her. “You need to put your hands up like little antennas. Like this.”

She demonstrates and Juliana follows her direction.

“You need to feel the trail of my energy. But you can’t see me. You have to close your eyes.”

Juliana takes a moment to consider, but decides this is definitely safer and less chaotic than dancing. So she shuts her eyes willingly and focuses on the warmth of Val’s palms reflecting hers.

At first, what she feels is just that. Juliana takes a deeper breath attempting to relax. Then the warmth starts to buzz as Val’s fingertips lightly touch hers. Juliana feels a persistent hum between them. She doesn’t know if this is the energy she’s supposed to be feeling or something else. 

Val’s hands move to Juliana’s shoulders, hovering just above her skin. She glides them from there up along her neck to her face where she pushes back strands of Juliana’s hair. Juliana feels Val’s palms settle on her cheeks as Val’s thumbs brush lightly back and forth.

Warm puffs of her breath ghost across Juliana’s face and the scent of Val lingers in her nostrils. And she wonders to herself if this is what it feels like to be intoxicated. Because right now her head is swimming and her heart is pounding in her ears. Juliana’s frozen — unable to escape this moment, and, more importantly, the anticipation of the next. Desire once seemed like a distant concept but now its something vibrating from every cell in Juliana’s body. As she feels the warm breaths get closer and Val’s fingers slide against the side of her face, she grows still. The quicksand around Juliana is getting deeper and rendering her limbs immobile.

Then it happens. 

Val’s lips brush so lightly against hers. As she draws back just a millimeter, Juliana finds herself moving forward and reconnecting them. It was almost like a predetermined reaction. Her body moved forward on its own accord without any of her brain’s consent. Juliana parts her lips, connecting deeper. She tilts her head and pushes closer. Somewhere in the back of her mind there is the idea floating around that Valentina’s not herself. That this is not the moment to be doing this. But the overwhelming sensations at the forefront are blocking everything. She feels as though her heart might explode from her chest. _Cause of death: kissing a girl._

No. Not kissing a girl. Kissing Valentina. Kissing this person that listens and cares and encourages her. That teaches Juliana how to swim and brings pies all the way across town to show her that her problems are important, too. Maybe its just that she’s never had a friend like this. No one has ever gone so far out of their way to see her happy. She knows deep down this is different, though.

Val grabs Juliana’s neck tighter and shifts her body towards her. Juliana feels Val’s tongue against her bottom lip, and it strikes this twisting feeling in her stomach. The basic physical sensations are familiar. The few overconfident boys that have dared to kiss Juliana pressed into her in a similar way. But in those moments the only thing that filled her brain was a 3-part plan of how to escape the situation fully alive. This is the exact opposite. Her brain is still in scheming mode, but it wants to know how it gets more. How do we continue this for as long as possible?

Valentina pulls back, and Juliana can feel Val’s stare hot on her skin. Juliana can’t open her eyes, though. Because if she does, this will all be over. So she pushes forward again, capturing her mouth in the deepest kiss yet. Their tongues slide together, as Juliana’s hands circle her waist. Val uses this momentum to pull her closer. And, then they’re falling. She’s pulling Juliana’s arms and shoulders over her. Val lays back against the mattress and Juliana follows her, stretching her body against the length of Val’s. Juliana’s hands push into the mattress on either side of Val’s head. Their lips never disconnecting throughout the motion.

Juliana feels the tug as Val sucks lightly on her tongue, and its though everything in her brain malfunctions. She could be back floating in the pool or floating through space for all she knows. Suddenly, Juliana is being flipped. Her back hits the mattress and Val settles between her legs. Val’s lips disconnect from Juliana’s. They both take deep, swallowing breaths. Juliana barely opens her eyes for just a moment to see Val’s eyes still clamped shut. Her face is flushed and her chest moves with every breath as she hovers above her. In one quick motion, Val is back to reclaiming Juliana’s lips as her hands move to her thighs. 

Val’s palms now feel hot and distracting against Juliana’s skin. She slides them from her knee up towards the hem of Juliana’s snug dress. Val pushes at the fabric, moving it up the other girl’s thighs. Her fingertips dig into Juliana’s hips as she settles more firmly against her. 

The click of the door handle doesn’t even register before they hear, “Oh shit. Perdón.”

Juliana and Val both look over just in time to see Val’s brother retreating from the doorway and pulling the door back shut behind him.

_Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god._

Juliana is not entirely sure which one of them is repeating these words as Val rolls off of her. All she knows is now Val is covering her face with her hand and sliding it up into her hair. Juliana wonders if she doesn’t move a single muscle if she could just melt away. Val’s hand that was in her own hair now falls down to Juliana’s thigh startling her. She lays it there in comfort, even though neither of them have worked up the courage to look each other in the eye.

Juliana reaches down and awkwardly attempts to slide her dress back down into a more family-friendly position. She moves to sit up in bed. It’s definitely not her most elegant moment. But nothing about what was just happening is. It was raw and amazing and totally not appropriate.

“I should go,” Juliana states, making motions to exit the bed.

“No, Juls. Please don’t.”

Juliana finally looks back at Valentina with what she’s sure is the most incredulous expression ever. _Val has got to be kidding._

She takes one look at Juliana and says, “at least let me call you a driver.”

“Ok,” Juliana agrees. Although, she’s fully confident that she could sprint the long distance home right now.

Juliana sits on the end of the bed waiting patiently for Val to make the call, but it doesn’t happen. She just hears Val let out a series of breaths and then she whispers, “stay.”

“Val,” Juliana responds in a warning tone.

Val moves to the end of the bed to sit beside her. Her shoulder bumps Juliana’s as she settles in close. They’re still avoiding eye contact as they both stare forward.

“You had already promised that you’d stay with me,” Val states.

“Val.”

They both know things have changed dramatically from when Juliana first made that promise. 

“Don’t leave me,” she pleads, as she looks over at Juliana. Their eyes connect and Juliana sees her first glimpse of the real Valentina again since this whole thing started. “Por favor.”

Juliana looks away to give herself a moment. She knows that when she’s staring into those eyes no rational decisions will ever be made. Then she finds herself nodding ‘yes’ just ever so slightly. Val jumps up from the bed in excitement.

“Can you please help me take this off?” she requests. Val turns her back towards her, and Juliana recalls standing in this room before. After their first swim lesson, Val was draping her gift of a necklace around Juliana’s neck. Val didn’t have a shirt on then, either. But the idea of her topless now has Juliana really second guessing her decision to stay. 

Val looks over her shoulder and says, “this beautiful top that you gave me.” Juliana knows Val feels compelled to say those words, because the last thing she’d ever want to insinuate is that she’d want to remove anything that Juliana gave her. Val’s innocence disarms her, so she agrees. But as Juliana goes to sweep Val’s hair from her shoulders in an attempt to help her remove the garment, a swell of desire fills her again. She watches the soft skin of Val’s shoulders and neck stretch, and she finds it impossible to think about anything but placing her lips there.

~~~

After helping Valentina out of her top, Juliana had made a quick escape to the adjoining bathroom. She took a moment in the solitude to just breathe before changing into the clothes Val had lent her to sleep in. They both had somehow managed to climb under the covers without combusting from the overwhelming desire to talk about what the hell it was that had transpired between them. It wasn’t long before Juliana heard the tell tale soft breaths of a sleeping Val beside her. She, however, was wide awake.

Sleep was not happening for Juliana tonight. Her mind was too busy processing what felt like everything in the world. She hadn’t exactly been going out of her way to repress her feelings about her new friend. But she certainly hadn’t been indulging in what the reciprocation of them might mean. And, then there was the fact that Juliana felt like an asshole. She was completely in the wrong for allowing her physical attraction to overrule the fact that Val clearly wasn’t in her right state of mind.

They could easily wake up tomorrow and Val could say this was all a big, drunken mistake. Juliana had opened both of them up to that possibility of embarrassment and regret. Surely, there was another city her and her mom could escape to. There had to be a way out. She clearly had ruined everything beautiful between them. Juliana let out a long breath and continued to stare up at the ceiling. The smallest amount of light had begun to sneak into the room, but it was still much too early to leave. 

Her mind continued to churn, trying to make sense of anything. The reality and surprise of the first person she fell in love with being a woman was weighing on her. She didn’t know quite what to do with that. Juliana was never one to be unsure in her feelings. When she felt things, she felt them 100%. It was often inconvenient and occasionally wonderful. She had been so wrapped up in her attraction to Val that she hadn’t really thought about what this meant for her on a larger scale. Or, if it meant anything really. I mean…

_Do you think we’re gay?_

Juliana is pulled out of her thoughts. She glances to the side to see a now awake Valentina staring at her with the question in her eyes. 

She turns on her side so she can face Valentina. Then Val shifts her hips so she can lay facing her, mirroring Juliana’s position. Val places one hand under her pillow and very tentatively reaches out with the other resting it close to Juliana but not touching the other girl.

“No sé,” Juliana responds softly.

They continue to keep their eyes fixed on each other. A myriad of expressions crosses Val’s face just ever so subtly. But in her eyes, there’s only adoration. Juliana tries her best to not let herself fall deeper, but she feels her resolve soften the longer they stare. Juliana looks down at their hands laying flat on the mattress and opens her mouth to speak.

“Te quiero… Te quiero mucho,” Val offers.

Juliana closes her eyes. She wants to absorb those words into her soul, but she knows its not fair.

“Val,” she starts and then opens her eyes again to meet the other girl’s gaze. “What happened shouldn’t have happened.”

“Please don’t say that.”

“It’s not that I didn’t want it to. Me encantas,” Juliana responds immediately. Their words almost overlapping.

A slight sound of excitement escapes Val’s lips, and she places her hand over Juliana’s pulling it towards her chest.

“Pero, you weren’t thinking clearly,” Juliana continues.

“Hey,” Val calls out softly. “I need you to understand something. I didn’t kiss you because of the drugs.”

Juliana winces unexpectedly at the admission, but Val presses on.

“All that happened was I had the bravery or stupidity, I’m not sure which, to finally do something I’ve been wanting to do for a while.”

Juliana flexed her jaw as though she wanted to respond but couldn’t find the words. Alternatively, Val couldn’t stop herself now that this was finally out in the open.

“I’ve never felt something like this before — not for a man, not for a woman.”

Juliana took her time to consider Val’s words. She wanted so badly to trust them. Everything in Val’s eyes was honest and open. Through the low light of the room, they shined back at her with anticipation.

“Me either,” Juliana finally responded.

At that, Val couldn’t seem to hold herself back anymore. She slid over burying her face in Juliana’s neck. Juliana easily made room for her, turning her head to stare back up at the ceiling as Val connected them from head to toe. Their legs intertwined and their arms wrapped around each other naturally. 

Juliana held Val tightly against her. She couldn’t fight the smile that seemed to be taking up permanent residence since Val fell into her arms. It didn’t take long for her friend to fall back asleep… _girlfriend? She’ll figure out that part later._ Her mind had finally stilled enough for her to sleep, as well. She felt the repeating rhythm of her and Val’s chests rising and sinking in unison. She quickly slipped under.

~~~

A light knock at the door followed by, “mi niña” woke Juliana from her slumber. There was a brief moment of silence and then she heard Val’s brother. “Chivis, let her rest.”

“But she missed breakfast,” Silvina countered.

“She had a long night,” Val’s brother’s voice said softly. Juliana heard their footsteps retreat.

“Ay,” Valentina groaned at the noise, pulling Juliana’s attention away from the door. Then sweetly she offered Juliana, “good morning.”

They were still very much tangled up in each other. The softness and warmth of Val’s body against hers was something Juliana hoped to experience many more times. She was willing to pay with her soul or Chino’s stolen desert money, whatever it took for all her mornings to start so gloriously. The things she could do without were the parade of people at Val’s bedroom door and the unnecessary amount of light in the room.

“What time is it?” Juliana questioned in a slight panic.

“Well, apparently we missed breakfast,” Val mumbled sleepily against her shoulder.

“I have to go.”

Juliana began to untangle herself from Val. She wasn’t very successful, as soon as she freed one limb another was trapped. “Val,” she pleaded. Val’s only response was to stare at her with those big eyes, playfully and genuinely asking her not to go.

“My mom is expecting me,” Juliana explained.

Val released her hold and did her best to roll out of Juliana’s embrace. It was clear that neither of them really wanted to move, but Juliana was obedient to her responsibilities. Val’s hand flopped dramatically against the mattress as Juliana finally exited the bed and made her way towards the bathroom.

Juliana emerged a few minutes later, fully dressed and ready to head out. Val was waiting for her at the end of the bed. She sat there cross legged going through her phone. Juliana swore she saw Val looking at a photo of them from last night, but Val quickly turned off her phone as she approached.

“So,” Juliana drew out a bit awkwardly. She wasn’t sure what to do with this goodbye. As long as they were trapped in this room, life and its all its accompanying realities could be suspended. Val stood up next to her and walked Juliana to her bedroom door. 

As Juliana reached for the handle, Val reached for Juliana’s arm. She pulled it back from the door.

“I had a really good time last night,” Val said shyly. There was a pause, both girls allowing themselves to just smile openly at each other.

“Me too.”

At Juliana’s words, Val let her hand slide down to grasp Juliana’s. She used her grip to pull Juliana’s hand back around her waist. The movement brought their bodies closer together. They both couldn’t keep their eyes off each others mouths, as instinctually, they let the distance evaporate. Their lips finally met, grazing in the softest kiss. Juliana couldn’t help but shake a little. Her nerves were still rattling her. Even though they had done this before, something about the exchange felt brand new. She turned her head and deepened the kiss.

“Ok,” Val said, as she pulled away reluctantly. “Aliro is waiting for you.”

Juliana squeezed Val’s hand lovingly in response. Val opened the door and Juliana stepped through the threshold with a firm grip still on her hand. She finally let it slip and smiled as she backed away from the room.

“I’ll call you. Probably in like 2 minutes,” Val joked.

Juliana descended the steps outside Valentina’s room, as she made her way towards the front of the house. She closed the enormous front door behind her and leaned her weight back against it. She had never felt so giddy and ridiculous in her life. She was in love, and, for the moment, that was all that mattered.


End file.
